senior moments - part 2

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house.

And after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.

The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great.. I would recommend it very highly.'

The other man said, 'What is the name of the restaurant?'

The first man thought and thought and finally said, 'What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know.... The one that's red and has thorns.'

'Do you mean a rose?'

'Yes, that's the one,' replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, 'Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?'

senior moments - part 1

for the next consecutive 4 days, im juz simply gonna post these jokes tat teckie sent to me. shameless of me, but they are realli hilarious! hurhur.

Two elderly gentlemen

From a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: 'Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?'

Slim says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.'

'Really!? Like a newborn baby!?'

'Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'

the efficiency of our gov is awesome

not even a wk lor. bah.

censored e report ref no. as well cuz IM GG TO BUY IT! LET ME DIO 1ST PRIZE!!!

nobody gets free lemon tea or anything tis time! e last time i offered i din dio!

BAH.

wat a BAH wk!

.
mon 19/7
tot i lost my hse keys, whole chan fam being tossing e hse up n down to look for em, oni to find out e keys are in my bag all along. hurhur.

tue 20/7
kena caught by TP for jaywalking early in e morn. enough said.

wed 21/7
i spent 1.5hrs drafting an email for 4x, cuz it wasnt "up to std". serious!

thu 22/7
blog's tagboard kena a shitload of spam, removed it.

fri 23/7
my shoes split opened once i reached e downstairs of my office. bah.
plus i din dio 8m toto.

sat 24/7
i din dio 4d.
.
sun 25/7
i bot 0520 (teckie gave me inspiration, 5 ppl got caught jaywalking altog plus $20 fine), 4d came out 0521. see proof below:
.
(i cldnt be sure whether there were 4 others or 5 others who got caught tog w me, so i bot both! kiasu ish singaporeans!)
.
.
BAH.

so sorry, lu, no free ice lemon tea for u, or anyone. BAH BAH BAH.

the day i committed an offence

SO. on tuesday 20 Jul 2010 820am, i was at point A ready to cross e fateful road from my house to boon lay mrt station. same standard route taken everyday.
.
as tis road is usually car-less, i (purple crowned circle) simply looked right n left then crossed. my 10yrs of crossing tis road, nv waited for e traffic lights b4 cuz e green man always take forever to show his face.
.
n i garang! i overtook all e crowd n became e 1st to cross e road b4 e red traffic light came on!

hence, i was e first to reach e other end of e road, all happy n not knowing tat there's a green circled poo looming right in front.

"pls show me ur ic."

tats it, i noe im done for. my 1st criminal record.

"e reason why im stopping u, is tat jaywalking is dangerous, it is an offence... yakyakyak."

n tis part honestly i cant hear clearly...

"u will..... receive.... 2wks.... fine .... $20 ..."

i tink he said $20, cant be sure n i was feeling too ego n prideful to ask him. but after tat i cfmed w sabbie (whose bf oso kena fined for jaywalking recently) tat it is $20. wtffff TPs are so gian of my frigging $20!!

e green circled poo is not in plain clothes, actually. he's in full TP uniform. but hey, who looks right in front when they'r crossing e road?? n hor, im nt e only dumbass, there are 4 other purple dumbass right behind me who also got caught hor.

bah. fuck lah. sibeh suay tis wk.

tis mon i tot i lost my house keys, e whole chan family was frantically searching for my keys at home, only to realise tat e keys are in bimbo chan's (me) bag all along. ahahahaha.

therefore, in view of all e recent suayness n hw qiao it is tat there's 8mil toto tis fri, im confident tat i will be e sole winner of e 8mil.

whoever reads tis, i treat u ice lemon tea w my 8mil winnings lah. dont say dont have hor. (limited to 1st 50 claimants)

try not to drop anything when ur bf is around

gf grabbed a new change of clothes ready for a shower. b4 she walked out of her room, sth dropped.

while she's tryin to find wat dropped, her bf walked in on her, n found e thing tat she dropped.

HER BRA PAD.

ahahahahaha. damn malufied!

hilarious~

waka waka fever!

life feels empty tday, there's be no more WC to rush hm for. wc withdrawal sympton lehz. =((
damnnnnnn tired lahz, many ppl were late for work tday lor. or half day, or "urgent" leave, or "mc".
im so guai lor, only 30min late for work tday! hahahaha.

when i was watchin e uru vs ger match, my dad wanted uru to win cuz he likes forlan, said
- forlan is a gd player n gd man, doesnt use foul tricks or say mean things abt e opposing players
- plus he's v hardworking n it cld be his last WC le, shd give him a gd ending to his career

i agree w my dad lor, which made me felt bad to root for ger. duhhh.

then tday i saw tis: .

gd for him! no prawn, at least he can make do w shrimp? hurhur.

aft uru lost, reporters interviewed forlan. tho i dont understand urulang (i tink it's spanish?), but forlan doesnt sound bitter or malicious leh. he realli seems tat nice lor.

tho im nt a fan of spain hor, i still had goosebumps all over during e epic moment when e triumphant casillas rose e world cup in e air lor.
my fascination for spain's epic moment is why i slept at 6am tis morn lol.

okay let's not forget why i started watching WC 8yrs ago....
CUTE GUYS N MEAT! wahahahaha.
vote vote!

my top 2 are....

fernando torres! he seriously looks like an englishboy rather than spanishboy lor.

kaka! cuteeeeeeee! btw hor, kaka's wife n kid both damn beautiful. lucky man lor.


hmm actually david villa oso oooooooookay. he has a xiao bu dian pixie stature n aura.

but everyone's all-time fav is still beckham lah, juz sit on e bench in a suit n look realliiiiii prettyyyyy. right?? lol.
.
sigh, tats e of e waka waka fever le. wats nx? YOG ah? errrrrrrrrrrrr...........

*empty*

double dating mania!

ttg wanted to watch toy story 3 n i was gonna watch w beefie last sun so i suggested we go watch tog! hurhur.

hmm but firstly tea break at Fruit Paradise @ Vivo. e tarts are yummehhh! hmm i tink e strawberry tarts are most delicious, so stick to those.

e boys are in e same couple yellow! lols.

alright alright, yes basically e photo is juz permutation n combination nia hahahha.

then we went for e movie which is pretty gd! but there's no need to watch in 3d lah, nth veri worth 3d-ing, e 3d glasses was damn uncomfy.

super heart mrs potato head's "may i?" n "oh darling, u look so slim n cool nw!". ahahaha DB max, no wonder i like e movie. hurhur.

then it's dinner tog at sushi tei! no photos there tho. but here's a grp photo!

ahahaha sorry short post, been feeling v lazy lately. hehe.

baibai yeye - the anniversary

yest morn i told sabbie "later im gg off at 2pm... baibai... my yeye's anniv".
she replied "happy bday, yeye!!"
-____-
she tot my "baibai" means byebye. haiz blooper of the day, sibeh bimbo mistake lol.

anyways, times flies! it's been a yr alr!
i felt paisey to leave when mth-end closing juz started tday, but i finished bulk of my work b4 i left!
the shifu came n chanted some sutras, then we cut e suckling pig n huat kueh (of fatt goh in canto)
burned paper money n clothes for yeye n popo
chan family took e opportunity to catch up w each other
food, tons of food. curry chicken, stewed mushrooms, roasted meats, egg tarts
n as usual, my auntie n her kid are not being v likeable.

there's tis short video by thinksg.com right b4 Eclipse starts in the cathay theatre
where "One generation loves, the next generation learns"
totally felt the msg, cuz i was there as the next generation
(my yeye was nv mean to us unlike the popo in e video tho)
the video is gooood, the msg is goooood.

hope u'r doing fine in the nether world, grandpa. we miss u~

wat e werewolf said to e vampire

"admit it, i am hotter than u".




LOLOLOL fuxking lameeeee!


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